Very well done Ken......
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| Author | Content |
|---|---|
| Ridcully Nov 30, 2011 9:07 AM EDT |
And thank you for letting us have this remarkably good ending. Nuff said, just hope you can keep up the sterling work. |
| tuxchick Nov 30, 2011 9:44 AM EDT |
Well done indeed. I'm going to add one more saying, Ken: "Some people should be Tasered on sight." |
| Scott_Ruecker Nov 30, 2011 12:42 PM EDT |
You are awesome my friend.. |
| gus3 Nov 30, 2011 1:02 PM EDT |
Don't be silly, Scott. All your friends are awesome. Some are just more awesomer. |
| skelband Nov 30, 2011 2:20 PM EDT |
Words escape me. Obviously, like you, I was concerned about any repercussions for the child after you left. I hope this guy gets kicked out on his arse. However, a good ending to a tricky situation. Much respecti I have for you for finding a good solution that didn't involve decking this chap. :D |
| helios Nov 30, 2011 2:59 PM EDT |
for finding a good solution that didn't involve decking this chap. :D It wasn't until just over half way there that I decided this option needed to be taken off the table. Upon leaving the shop to drive there, it was at the top of the list. |
| ColonelPanik Nov 30, 2011 3:12 PM EDT |
Uncle Ken has put computers into the hands of more "kinds" of people than most
of us will ever meet. There are stories that will not be published. Not all are
a resounding success but he keeps doing it so we can guess that most have been
rewarding. Sort of like the Battery Bunny, he just keeps going and going and.... I'd take my hat off to ya Ken but we go to the same barber and it is winter now. |
| Koriel Nov 30, 2011 5:58 PM EDT |
Well done Ken mucho kudos. I was also put into a similar situation but for different reasons where I was left worrying about a child after I had left. The best I could do was inform social services of my worries but i still never felt good about it and still don't after nearly 15 years even though I know now that the child did suffer somewhat mentally in a crappy situation she emerged relatively unscathed into the lovely teenager she is now. You handled it well as I have to say my first thoughts were I want to hospitalise this guy. |
| Scott_Ruecker Nov 30, 2011 6:02 PM EDT |
Quoting:Don't be silly, Scott. All your friends are awesome. Some are just more awesomer. Well..Yeah! but still..;-) |
| DrGeoffrey Nov 30, 2011 7:22 PM EDT |
Wow! Nicely done, helios. Take notes boys and girls, we can learn from this man. |
| jdixon Nov 30, 2011 8:28 PM EDT |
> It wasn't until just over half way there that I decided this option needed to be taken off the table. Ken, you show more restraint than I think I could manage. I'm not sure I wouldn't have been intentionally antagonizing him into starting something. |
| helios Nov 30, 2011 11:32 PM EDT |
I'm not sure I wouldn't have been intentionally antagonizing him into starting something. I actually was plotting that strategy until I imagined the LXer Feature in my head the next day: "Technology Activist Jailed for Assault" That probably had more to do with it than anything. |
| Ridcully Nov 30, 2011 11:49 PM EDT |
I guess I have led a sheltered life Ken, but I still cannot understand how someone can steal from a child especially like this when the item is a gift to further a child's career. I know it happens, but I simply cannot make sense of the mind that will do that. I have a grown-up daughter of my own and to hurt her or any woman is beyond me...let alone a little girl. I often joke that every little girl is born with a groove around her little finger - it's where she has me wrapped round it. That to one side, let me join in too and say I admire your restraint. I think though, that there may still be a place for the old fashioned English punishment of birching (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birching). I read an article many years ago in which the recipient of the punishment (on the Isle of Man) was caught slashing bus seats. He stated that never, never, never again would he risk doing things that merited that punishment. It's not the pain so much but the embarrassment and indignity of a public punishment. My old fashioned neanderthal instincts and morals sometimes take over. :-) |
| tracyanne Nov 30, 2011 11:52 PM EDT |
Are you monitoring the situsation. I'm quite sure he will try something again, unless the mother wakes up to herself and gets rid of him. |
| BernardSwiss Dec 01, 2011 12:09 AM EDT |
The mother is probably at least as scared as the daughter. |
| caitlyn Dec 01, 2011 12:19 AM EDT |
Quoting:The mother is probably at least as scared as the daughter.If he's abusive that is almost certainly true. My biggest worry here is for the young girl and her mom. The only hope I see here is that the guy didn't get into a confrontation with you. Maybe, just maybe, he's trainable and not physically abusive. Ken, I think you did an admirable job under difficult circumstances. Kudos for handling a bad situation well. Oh, and also kudos on the Asus netbook. I see used netbooks with two digit price tags nowadays that can easily replace any desktop for normal use provided they run Linux and not a resource hog called Windows. |
| helios Dec 01, 2011 9:44 AM EDT |
@TA - Yes I am. The attitude and body language of this guy indicates that he's feeling violated in his own space and resents someone else entering "his" domain and interacting with "his" family. That's why I stayed until the mom got home and yes, I think she is frightened of him as much as the child is. It is a 45 minute drive to their house for me and being the only one that is doing installs this season, it's hard for me to just to "drop by" and see how she is doing in the evenings. That might not be the smartest thing to do anyway because if I have this jerk nailed down correctly, he will begin accusing her of "having an affair" and IF he is abusive, it will escalate. We were going to make the announcement during Christmas week but I don't think there is really any need for dramatic buildup so I will mention it now just to clarify. HeliOS has decided to begin a program that mentors 2 young girls a quarter who show an interest in or have high grades in technology and sciences. Since this child qualifies for the program, she was originally slated for the second quarter of the year for mentoring but I've swapped her around so she is in the first quarter. She also has been given a "scholarship" to the Camp HeliOS Computer Camp this coming June. I may have overstepped my bounds but I have been extremely direct with the mom about my concerns and that I have enough training to recognize an abusive environment and offered my help in as far as I can offer it. I also had a meeting with a family violence intervention counselor that we supply computers for and she has made quiet contact with the mom at work. Personally, I find it uncomfortable to interject myself or HeliOS into this situation but turning away and hoping for the best isn't going to do anything helpful. It's a pretty thin line to walk. At this time, I am calling her each evening with some "helpful" tip and we've set up a code so I know if things are imminently dangerous. So far, it appears not. |
| helios Dec 01, 2011 10:04 AM EDT |
Maybe, just maybe, he's trainable and not physically abusive. No, this "type" makes it a point to project a picture of "we're just one big happy family" but behind closed doors, his behavior dictates otherwise. When that little girl ran into the room when he yelled for her, she was frightened and there was no mistaking it. The Asus netbook was more of a tool for the situation than it was anything else. It was my personal laptop but I gave it to her because it is new, black and shiny. I wanted him to see that what he had done, could be undone. I'm sure it pissed him off but then again, that was the point. I can get another laptop at another time. This one served it's purpose much better by giving it to her than me having it. |
| JaseP Dec 01, 2011 3:22 PM EDT |
Dude,... You are a Saint,... Seriously. This was, by far, the coolest thing I have read in a LONG time... Wow. I am humbled by your caring & generosity... It also shows, that properly controlled & directed, anger can (actually) be a useful emotion. |
| Koriel Dec 01, 2011 3:34 PM EDT |
You did right by getting the counselor involved, I was about to suggest it but being a Scot just living in the USA, I don't really know what the various States do in the way of providing social services, in the UK they have the Child at Risk register and you can talk to social services who will investigate the situation and keep an eye on things. |
| tracyanne Dec 01, 2011 5:49 PM EDT |
Quoting:The Asus netbook was more of a tool for the situation than it was anything else. It was my personal laptop... I wondered why it took so long to make it hers. I think there's not anything more you could have done than you have. Getting a family violence councilor involved is good, but in the end the mother has to wake up and get rid of him. |
| helios Dec 01, 2011 6:06 PM EDT |
Koriel, CPS or Child Protective Services on both the County and State level can be horribly over-reaching at times and I absolutely hesitate to get them involved unless I believe the child to be in imminent danger. I've seen CPS used as a weapon in grudges and neighborhood feuds...where someone reports a parent or guardian abusing a child when it didn't happen at all. CPS often errs on the side of caution and will remove a child from that home without much else than someone else's say so. In this case, the child was living in constant fear I believed so I did make the contacts necessary. THEY will dictate that the bum leave the premises and draw up a restraining order, thus taking on the bad guy role and giving him no reason to suspect her of initiating the contact. They are coming to her school today to interview her and her mom so he doesn't know about it. That is exactly what is happening in this case and I will know more when I call her tonight to give her daily "Linux tip". JasP - I did nothing more than anyone else would have done, but thank you muches. |
| Ridcully Dec 01, 2011 6:36 PM EDT |
Ken, permit me to say that you are a "Good Man" in that saying's oldest and truest sense in that I see you as a remarkably caring and thoughtful person. A little girl has been given hope for a successful future and even a happier family. You may be right when you say you did nothing more than anyone else would have done, but the fact remains that *you* did it, and you and your Helios project deserve our warmest support and acknowledgement for the wonderful work you have done and continue to do. Thankyou. |
| chalbersma Dec 01, 2011 8:00 PM EDT |
Keep at it man. When I get out of college and get a job I'm donating more to you than to God. |
| gus3 Dec 01, 2011 8:39 PM EDT |
K, you are a true mensch. Really, you're bringing tears to my eyes, and I know it isn't the onions I sliced, since that was four hours ago. |
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