Exerpts from a secret speech by the editor of Toughly Rafted
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| Author | Content |
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| Alcibiades Aug 24, 2010 4:17 AM EDT |
Thank you for coming to this reception hosted by Toughly Rafted. This is the e-zine that campaigns relentlessly against the scourge of trailer park trash, Walmart shoppers, buyers of white sliced bread and instant coffee, freetards and Dell buyers, the kind of people who would not know what a latte was if they spilled it all over their fat asses, that threaten this great civilization of ours. People, if you can call them that, who want cheap computing, cheap mobile phones, free software, who are taking Dell and similar companies on a well deserved race to the bottom due to commoditization, where they belong together, at the bottom.... Let me wipe the foam of my lips before continuing. It will help me to speak more clearly. Sometimes it is hard to restrain ones feelings, particularly, when these freetards raise their voices against the one true proponent of Freedom in the IT marketplace today, as so many have been doing lately. You see, there is a connection which the freetards are in denial about, between the great People's Republic of North Korea, and Apple Corporation, formerly known as Apple Computer. How so, you ask? What could that connection be? Well, it is a teleconnection. By the power of his thought, the fearless leader of Apple has transmitted to the almost equally fearless Leader of North Korea a way of simultaneously supporting and fostering open computing, and protecting his people from the plagues of malware and freetardery which plague the West. Did I say plague? Plague is too mild a word, its a pestilence, a fury, a horror, a catastrophe, not so much a race to the bottom, a plummeting, a screaming helldive, from which only the one true IT company and its Beloved Leader can save us. Let me take a glass of water. Sometimes one's feelings overcome one, particularly one's disgust at that white trash kind of people, those counterrevolutionaries... But to return. Yes, the one Great Leader transmitted to the other Great Leader his latest Thoughts. And these thoughts were something like this: lets introduce a computer software system that is totally tied to hardware. Lets make sure that nothing goes in or out of it except through the National Store, and that nothing gets into the National Store that is written in anything but the National Language. I said open. Yes, this will be the one true openness. A sort of Kantian openness' like the Kantian freedom which is obedience to a law one has imposed on oneself. You will, my dear colleague, said the one Leader to the other, simply take over some open stuff and reuse it in a more truly open way. I suggest you use Linux. Lets make sure that all unauthorized changes to it are immediately notified back to the supplier, in the case of North Korea, the State Security and Welfare and Mental Health Department. Nothing of course is more threatening to a country than the kind of epidemic of mental illness freetardery can produce. Lets make sure that all the hardware has cameras, so that the afflicted person can be identified, and quarantined at once up on the Northern Border, in our sanatoria, for their and our good. Isn't that a great idea? Well, the second Great Leader replied telepathically, yes, that is a great idea, but is it possible? Will they swallow it? They can't be that dumb, can they? No problem, said the first. I did it, and they have. And they were. And this is how Red Star Linux was born. |
| hkwint Aug 24, 2010 11:56 AM EDT |
Yes, the parallels are interesting. The VBS.TV documentary is lengthy (1 hour), but worthwile to watch. One of the most interesting docu's I saw in my life. Just like Kim Jong Il, Mr. Jobs is pretty paranoid, and thinks the rest of the world - leaded by the imperialist Google - is out to destroy them. So, both of them build a big defense. North Korea with weapons and tanks, Apple with patents. Both of them with influenced 'soldiers', put forth to the glory of the Democratic Republic. Which reminds of the Deutsche Demokratische Rupublik: They call themselves Democratic. About the same way Apple calls itself 'open'. Which begs the question, if Apple has a DMZ-"interface" to the rest of the world. Probably it has, these are the patent agreements and licenses it has with its competition. However, if somebody 'crosses' the DMZ, surely WW3 will start, which might destroy Android. In the docu, you see there's no electricity, but still Kim's followers think they're really sophisticated. Kind of reminds me of Apple fanbois thinking even if they don't have the best hardware, theirs is still the best. All the cameras aimed at NK from ZK are quite interesting too: It's about the same eager Apple's competitors display at following / spying Apple. The 'great barrage' shown in the video resembles the 'great revolutionary antenna design' of the newest iPhone: Presented as the greatest thing since slightest bread, then it backfired, turned out to be the biggest technological disaster in history of the Republic, they're ashamed of it, and don't allow anybody else to research or badmouth it. Of course, NK is much better at reaching that goal than Apple is. Also interesting to note is the North Koreans think they will be reunited with their friends, while the rest of the world thinks they're dumb and indoctrinated. The part of the North Korean 'tea girl' who probably didn't have visitors for the last 10 months or so - playing snooker with the US documentary maker is priceless BTW. |
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