raising cattle
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| Author | Content |
|---|---|
| bdumm Feb 21, 2006 5:43 AM EDT |
so I want to know...... How many lxer's out there think Tom would do well at "raising cattle"? :) |
| jimf Feb 21, 2006 9:38 AM EDT |
He may not realize what he's getting into :(... Then agan, who knows :) |
| tadelste Feb 21, 2006 11:54 AM EDT |
I know. |
| nicsmr Feb 21, 2006 12:59 PM EDT |
For the amusement of all LXers', I post this joke I received a while back regarding cattle. Certain names have been change to protect...Me. Enjoy. A cowboy was herding his cattle in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in The Gimp and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MySQL database through an ODBC connected OO-Calc spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry, and after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a consultant." says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business." "Now give me back my DOG." |
| tadelste Feb 21, 2006 2:04 PM EDT |
GREAT! |
| wjl Feb 22, 2006 4:28 AM EDT |
Aye. Heard that with sheep, which is what I would grow. See: http://wolfgang.lonien.de/?p=31 cheers, wjl |
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