To answer the original question,
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| Author | Content |
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| SFN Dec 28, 2005 7:13 AM EDT |
"Who's Responsible For The Dumbing-Down Of America?" I have to give the answer given to me by a good friend of mine. That answer is: Robert Zemeckis. Stay with me here. This friend of mine is one of the all-time great conspiracy theorists. He believes not only that every terrible thing in the world has an identifiable origin but that it's being covered up AND he knows what it is. One day a couple of years ago, he and I were having the conversation that more and more people seem to be having every day. That is, "have you noticed that how stupid people are becoming?" I, as usual, chose simply to rant and rave stopping only to point out specific examples of individual denseness. He, as usual, waited for me to ask "and why?" before finally saying, "oh, I can tell you exactly why!" I sat back for a long lecture. These theories of his always involve long lectures but they usually pay off as he always builds his notions cleanly and can always make you believe at least a good portion of them. He poses, all professor-like, for a second then proclaims, "Forrest Gump!" Feeling a bit like Manuel on "Faulty Towers", I simply respond with "que?" He goes on at great length and with much more skill than I have to explain that in his adaptation of "Forrest Gump" Robert Zemeckis created a character beloved the world over because, although he is mentally retarded, he manages to be not just present at but at least partially responsible for some of the great moments of the last half of the 20th Century. "Proof," he exclaimed, "that you don't have to be smart to be worthwhile. While that is true, people have taken that next illogical step and assumed that they are better off being stupid. IT WORKED FOR FORREST!" The lecture went on for a good hour and by the time he was done, I was a believer. People haven't just accidentally stumbled into stupidity. They've researched it, made reservations, bought whole new wardrobes and proclaimed to their friends and families that they are taking a vacation from intelligence. Perhaps it had nothing to do with "Forrest Gump" but it's right up there with a guy raising an umbrella in clear weather moments before Kennedy was shot. It's terribly unfortunate that right around the time that people decided to think as little as possible, they were handed a device that requires you to think - namely the computer. Not only that but the computer became attached to the Net, making it so that you not only had to think about the computer but about everything else as well. Fortunately, someone dumbed-down the computer for America. I think we all know who that was. |
| helios Dec 28, 2005 6:42 PM EDT |
Bravo Sir, Bravo Not only insightful but skillfully entertaining. Allow me to a bit to the ending: Not only that but the computer became attached to the Net, making it so that you not only had to think about the computer but about everything else as well...... It also gives them ample opportunity to show just how dumb they are. I present to you exhibit A. Slashdot. |
| SFN Dec 29, 2005 4:35 AM EDT |
"I present to you exhibit A. Slashdot." Oh snap, sensei. |
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